Wow, today is actually the last day of the year! I always find it fascinating how much my life can change in just one year.. Anyone else feel the same way? It is almost like I don’t even recognize that place I was in at this time last year. For me, this year was all about “realizing things” as Kylie would say (haha)! I had so many questions and confusion entering into my late 20’s about what my life should look like. I felt so much pressure to conform to what the “norm” is supposed to be. I would tell my close friends that I keep waiting to feel ready to take those big steps and to settle for the type of life that everyone my age seems to love so much (marriage, kids, buying the house, etc..) But the truth is, I am not ready! The more I tried to force those ideals onto myself, the unhappier I became.
When I really started to be honest with myself, I discovered that buying a house and settling down with kids is not really what I want right now. I started talking with family members and friends about what is important to me and how I envision my future. I began making plans for 2018 without putting anyone else’s expectations, ideals, or boundaries around it. I gave myself permission to keep an open mind and open heart to new opportunities or feelings that I had pushed down because of fear. I then started reaching out to people who inspire me to make connections.
I also owned up to my mistakes and the wrong turns I had made. It was so freeing to be able to say to myself, “Yeah, that wasn’t the best decision.” or “I wish I hadn’t done that.” and CHANGE IT! The truth is, we are not perfect! We are not always going to get it right the first time or second time, but the beautiful thing is, we can learn from it! We can reflect on the decisions we have made and forgive ourselves. We can love ourselves through it and keep moving forward to something better.
My goals for 2018 are to continue to be open and not allow society’s expectations, family expectations, or fear dictate my future. I want to continue to be honest with myself and how I feel. I want to give myself the freedom to pursue what I love in life without guilt or uncertainty. I want to love myself NO MATTER WHAT and accept that I am different than most people, and that’s okay!